When I was young my biological father got a new black lab puppy that he named Corndog. He and I were never close. I mean my father, but neither was I close to Corndog. I met him once. On a rare excursion to the lake with my father (he had a new wife he was trying to impress…or maybe she was just trying to be kind), we sat near the water petting Corndog. He told me, “Dogs don’t have a concept of time. When you leave for work in the morning and then come home at the end of the day your dog thinks you’ve been gone forever. That’s why they’re so happy to see you. So, you have to remember to pet your dog every day, Patrick.”
I had no way of knowing at the time whether dogs have a sense of time or not and to this day I’m still not sure. I could research it, but is there a point? Sure, it may be a cool factoid and it even makes sense. Humans invented the concept of time and we hardly understand it ourselves. What stuck with me was my father’s insistence that you show your love to your dog consistently and regularly. After all, it would be a shame if it forgot that you care. That kind of neglect is abuse.
I am trying to remember my precise age at the time of this lake excursion. It might’ve been my early teens. It’s one of the strongest memories I have of him. Probably second only to the last time we spoke 26 years ago. But that’s a story for another time. As I said, we were never close. It wasn’t for lack of desire or effort on my part.
So today I thank my real dad. I met him when I was four years old and he filled a void that my young mind didn’t understand existed. He never made me feel unimportant; he never missed a birthday; he never made excuses; he showed up. Day after day.
He taught me the importance of honor and integrity; he taught me how to throw a baseball and ride a motorcycle; he helped with stressful homework and self-confidence. And by his example, he taught me how to love my sons.
I love you, Mike! Happy Father’s Day.
My wish for today is for fathers to pet their puppies every day. If that’s too much for you, surrender your puppy to a rescue and stop getting new puppies. We’ve got enough problems without your neglect. Neglect is abuse.
All he was guilty of was not wanting me.
—Augusten Burroughs
