After Lara got her Stage IV cancer diagnosis, one song she often requested was Blue Öyster Cult’s “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper.” She even asked my dad’s band to play it at her fundraiser. My dad wanted to even though he didn’t think he could through the lyrics. But the only other guy in the band who knew had to leave abruptly for a family emergency. It’s a song that I was certain I knew. I had probably heard the song hundreds of times. I thought I knew the lyrics, but it turns out I really only knew the first couple of verses and the chorus.
Love of two is one
—Donald “Buck Dharma” Roeser
Here, but now they’re gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn’t go on
The door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew and then disappeared
The curtains flew and then he appeared
The outro is even more moving. For me anyway. When it was time, I knew it would be my wife’s last day. I called her father and asked him to come and spend some quiet time with her. No conversations. Just be with her. I encouraged him to tell her he loved her aloud. I just requested that he not try to engage her. Then I took a walk and I cried. And I cried.
I got back and said goodbye to her father and my sister-in-law helped me prepare Lara for bed. We turned down the lights, leaving only the battery-powered candles glowing, and I climbed into bed with her. I spent most of my remaining wakeful hours holding her hand, reminding her that I love her, and offering soft kisses. I told her that I would be okay and that she could go when she was ready. Eventually, I slipped off to sleep.
A couple of hours later I awoke to a feeling. Something was different and it didn’t even take me an instant to figure it out. “(She had become like they are) She had taken his hand.”
Covers for a Cause
In researching this session of the Hangover Cafe, I learned that The Barefoot Movement does these covers for a cause. They divert a portion of the revenue from their streams to soles4souls, a non-profit that collects and distributes donated clothing and shoes to the needy. Now the band’s name makes a lot more sense. They’re not just neo-hippies, after all. As such, it would do us all well if we streamed it as much as possible!
