I had grasped at every hope, evaded every unpleasant truth.
The elder Dahmer doesn’t excuse his son’s egregious crimes. He seeks to understand what drove him to such unspeakable brutality and disregard for human beings. He only learned the true depths of his son’s depravity after his 1991 arrest. This book is partly a retrospective of what he, as a father, missed and what role, through nature or nurture, he might’ve played in his son’s becoming a notorious serial killer. He never stopped loving his son, that much is clear. And he ultimately forgave him.
I had relentlessly clung to a first marriage that was deeply wounded. I had clung to routines and habits of thought. To guide my behavior, I had clung to highly defined personal roles. It struck me that I had clung to all these things because they had given me a profound sense of permanence, of something I could “keep.”
Love your people. Don’t let your love blind you.
Lionel Dahmer’s A Father’s Story.
