What follows are the wedding vows I wrote and read to Lara at our second ceremony in Healdsburg, California on October 27, 2022. We’d planned to do one on October 26th, but her pain got the best of her. I woke up and had this note on my nightstand as well as a text from her (she’d been up for a couple of hours in another part of the house):
I have this crazy idea that maybe we could try again this morning. I’m awake right now in the kitchen. I know a lot of people have to leave somewhat early.
But seriously, babe, if my pain is managed well enough why couldn’t we do a morning coffee wedding. It won’t take me long to do make up or hair and I just have to slap on the dress. We can still totally do this and have leftovers for breakfast. Every wedding has its story, this could be ours.
And I want to see you in your suit. And decorations are already there, and we have food. Please help me make it happen?
—Queen Higgy
We first met in person outside a coffee shop in Georgia. You had just traveled 2200 miles to take a chance on me. The way the sun embraced you made me so jealous. I knew that I wanted to wrap you in light and love forever. I wanted the sun to back off the girl I wanted to be my woman. I loved your smile, how you felt in my arms, and your radiance. Every ship adrift in stormy waters needs a lighthouse and you lit up my life like no one ever had: you’re my beacon.
I love the love we’ve created together. Our witty banter is unparalleled and our curiosity is endless. I love that I can effortlessly interpret your nonverbal communication such as the grunts that suggest you’re going to be cranky this morning or how you let me know you want a sip of my drink with a quick glance at my cup. Devotion, compassion, understanding, appreciation, laughter…when we’ve got it all, what else do we need?
The life we’ve built together is one of adventure. We’ve crisscrossed this country for each other several times. From snow-capped mountains in Northern California, over the continental divide between the beauty of Utah and the winds of Colorado, through the wildfires and tumbleweeds of New Mexico, across the plains of Texas and the Mississippi River to the verdant hills of North Georgia.
But we also journeyed inward. I hope you’ve learned as much from me as I have from you. Andrew Solomon wrote, “To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose.” Of all the treasures I’ve held in my life, you are the most precious. And you are a gift that I’ll carry forever. Thank you for loving me.
Today, as I become your husband, I make these vows:
- I promise to love you the way you deserve, to be the man you’ll also love tomorrow, and always to make you proud.
- I promise to care for you when you’re sick, to remind you that you’re beautiful, and to always laugh at your farts.
- Finally, I promise to keep my mind and my heart open to magic.
Whatever we lack in quantity, we’ll make up for in quality. As we always have. Please accept this ring as a token of this pledge I make to you; I’d be honored to continue calling you my wife.
