I had grasped at every hope, evaded every unpleasant truth. The elder Dahmer doesn’t excuse his son’s egregious crimes. He seeks to understand what drove him to such unspeakable brutality and disregard for human beings. He only learned the true depths of his son’s depravity after his 1991 arrest. This book is partly a retrospective…
Once upon a time ago, Lara and I went to Jekyll Brewing in Alpharetta, GA. The guy working the bar had a tattoo on his arm that said, “I am myself, like you somehow.” I said, “Wow, is that a Pearl Jam lyric?” He was impressed that I noticed that because hardly anyone ever does.…
Today’s featured song is “12 Pack Blues” by Sergi Estella. What better title to celebrate this cafe’s inauguration than this? If the rhythm is too intense for your current state, turn down the volume. Just don’t miss out on this treat! You’ve got to see what this artist can do with three strings, just over…
I’ve spent the previous 24-ish hours in mostly silent reflection on this past year. I’m not exactly searching for answers. I’m not really one to ask, “Why me?” except perhaps in jest. Because why anybody? The world simply turns day after day and things just happen sometimes. Nevertheless, I dug deep. Looking for a way…
Lara passed peacefully in the night here at her family’s ranch, just how she wanted to. She wasn’t in pain or in fear. She wasn’t alone. I was in bed beside her all night holding her hand, rubbing her leg, offering soft kisses, and reminding her of how loved she is by so many. I…
I walked out to the pond yesterday for some time to myself. I’d chosen a random meditation from my app to help me level-set the cacophony I was hearing in my head. When I got to the pond I walked to the end of the diving board and sat down. I didn’t feel like meditating.…
This photo is from 11 November 22 (her shirt says “Heavily Meditated”) and it was the last time I made French toast and eggs for her. What follows isn’t a chronological update of Lara’s condition so much as an expression of my thoughts and some of the symptoms which I have yet to insert into…
It’s been busy here for the last several days with lots of Lara’s family and one of my best friends visiting the ranch. Things have been progressing for Lara as expected. I thought I would be readier for all of this. But I am not. Is one ever truly prepared for this inevitability? I contend…
It’s been two months since we flew back to California and in that time we visited with lots of friends and family and even did a second wedding ceremony for some of our West Coast Tribe. Making more cherished memories. Many of you have reached out to me to check in on Lara because the…